Gizmo

"Oh wow! I slept right through the night again, oh my god where am I? Why is my head in the wrong place and why am I facing the patio door? Widthways in the bed how did that happen."

"Ahhh there's my boys, both pleased to see me, some more than others, but then if my beloved wrapped himself around my ankles I guess that would be just a little wrong. Ok Stitch lets go hang in the garden, and he's off, please don't follow the cats across the neighbours garden again, not again please, phew that was a close one.  Guess the grass is wet again, you would think his paws were going to melt the way he behaves, it's just water for goodness sakes...
Time for a coffee in the sunshine, Stitch 'leave it', why would you want to sniff your own pee, and don't even think about sticking that nose on my leg, wwwwww."

 
"Right time to get cleaning, floors need sweeping and toilets need bleaching, but first I think I will shut the curtains that way he won't get at the windows if a cat comes walking by, one toilet, two toilet, three toilet and relax, hey Stitch coming for a trip around the garden, what do you mean the grass is still wet, oh man! He will have to pee sometime, oh there he goes up the bush next to the path, at least it wasn't the BBQ, yes, yes I know your beautiful, I wish both his ears would stick up, he looks like half a Gizmo, maybe the left one is broken? Do dogs have bones in their ears? I really should have called him Gizmo."

"Time to catch some rays, man it's hot up here, I wonder if Stitch is behaving the curtains are shut so he can't see the cats, he will be fine, maybe I should just check, ahhh there he is, laying in the stream of sun coming through the curtains, well they're not very thick. Can you get sunburn't through glass? I wonder if I should cream him nose?" 

"God it's hot, maybe I should put some more cream on, this book is rubbish, think I need to get a new one. I need a drink, hello Stitch still laying in the sun then, I wonder if he needs a pee again, sit! Wait, ok and he's off, grass must be dry at least he is walking on it now, not quite sure what he will do if we move back to Scotland, surely he will acclimatise. My beloved wants to go for a walk, lets head to the beach it has to be cooler down there, why does this hound hide under the car whenever he sees it, come on you fruitcake lets get you in, OMG that seat is hot, I hate leather seats, I know I'm gonna lose skin cells when I peel myself out of it. Wow it's breezy down here, oh oh think the hound needs a business stop, yep, no, yep, yep wooooooow how can such a small dog produce so much of that stuff, best get the bag out, ops he's not done yet."

"Ah look at him chasing the stones, he is so cute, man I hope that sea water doesn't make his stomach sore.  NOOOOOO Stitch you can't put your head right under, it leads to lack of oxygen, and no you can't breath out your bum, I know because I tried it running. Oh my god look out four dogs, phew thank god they are on leads, man they are ugly, I have such a beautiful dog, they are like pigs with hairy ears, and vicious little snipes, that's it Stitch you ignore them, nose up lad and they're gone"