Freak

Ok already I'm awake, if you would just let me stretch before you open the patio trying to chase those imaginary cats is difficult when your only half stretched, it's no wonder I miss when I leap over things and land on my chest.  Ok sniff chase, sniff, leg lift, sniff ahhhhhhhhh.

If they think I'm going on that wet grass they are mistaken, I'm sure I can hold it in till after breakfast, yeah course I can, my paws are way to precious for damp grass. Christ she is making we perform again, sit! Down! WAIT!!!!! I should have been in the circus, back and forward past the treats, no better not look at them, oh oh oh back to my spot and I managed without even sniffing, can I get my breakfast now? JEEEEEZ here we go again, sit! Down! WAIT..... run past the treats maybe if I run quicker I won't get the smell of them, nope that didn't work but I'm not looking, please can I get my breakfast now.  YESSSSS she's in the cupboard, I can see it the tub, my tub, my tub and it's not got much left she better remember and buy some more or I will be screwed.  Scales out ohhhh how I love the sound of that blipper it's my queue to be very, very still and watch.  I wish both my ears would stick up I feel so lopsided (but lush), my tail won't stop moving, I'm trying really hard here not to move, what if she thinks I am misbehaving will I have to go through the circus act again...... wait for it, wait for it, she bringing my dish, it's on the ground can't touch it though, not yet 1-100, 2-100, 3-100 pleeeeeeeese 10-100 yes OK, such a small word 'ok' but it's my fav.

Well that didn't take long, what's next I really need out for a business trip I can cross my front legs but not these back ones, come on will ya.. yes doors open if I just sit nicely surely they will let me through and out for some dry grass, it worked and we're off, out the door down the steps I wish she would hurry up I'm bursting, ahhhhhhhhh job done, I think she is a collector she is forever picking stuff up and putting it in bags freak..

And snooze