Its a Dogs life

“Owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are god. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are gods.”

'Christopher Hitchen'

So how did we end up with a dog, well I blame the Dark Lord, although truth be told it was his wife who found the dog down the beach having been abandoned by his previous owner.

So the story begins with us deciding to take a visit to the dog pound in Moni just outside Limassol, this turned out to be quite an adventure as we went to see a specific dog called Milly who turned out to be a beautiful dog, but so timid, this wouldn't have been a problem had she not been a cross pointer and with a pointers attitude to walking, I thought my back would break with the pull she applied to the lead, and don't get me wrong when called to heel she obeyed but then completely forgot what she was told and off she went again, I had visions of me being airborne on any walk we undertook, not a great idea when you have a tricky back.  So we walked her back to the pound, or should I say she dragged us back, next up was another cross and a German Shepherd pup, the pup was never an option but we took him for a walk anyway, having been bitten as a teenager by a German Shepherd there was no way I would have signed up for one of those, but he was the cutest bundle of fur ever, and could quite easily have been used as a mop, I'm sure that had we attached him to a mop stick he would have soaked up any spills in the house, his partner in crime was a lovely dog but I just couldn't see her in my house so we left the pound and headed up the Troodos mountains for the afternoon.

We travelled through some beautiful countryside and up through the wine country until we arrived at the top, on opening the car door we were met with bracing mountain breezes, and a small amount of snow on the sides of the road, we partook of some rather tasteless Kleftico on top of the mountain and watched the people strolling by in hats, gloves and thermal clothing, we decided to send the Dark Lord a message and ask if we could take his new addition out for a walk when we arrived home, he was only too pleased as he had never agreed to a second hound in the house anyway.

So we arrived back in Kolossi and were met in the driveway by Mrs Lord and then the little chap came out the gate to meet us, although I'm still convinced the Dark Lord actually kicked him out, I'm sure I heard the words good riddance, Mrs Lord informed us that the little chap was a great fellow and walked no bother, although he was a little piddly!! not a problem when your outside I thought.

So we put the said chap in the boot of the car, My Beloved sat in the backseat to keep him company and we drove back to our house and took the lovely fellow for a walk. Now you have to understand My Beloved hates Jack Russell's and we never bothered to ask which type of Heinz the little chap was, which is how we ended up with a Saussell, a Sausage dog crossed with a Jack Russell!

As soon as we walked with him I was smitten, he was so well behaved, he walked to heel and wasn't bothered by other dogs, even big ugly buggers that had me sitting on My Beloved's shoulders as they walked past, well I say he wasn't bothered what I mean is he took a huge wide berth of all other dogs we came into contact with, this suited me immensely.  On our walk we eventually decided to see if the landlord would allow us an animal in the house, trust me I wouldn't, so we sent an email to get clarification.

Late Saturday night we got the yes from the landlord his only restriction was that the dog looked after the house, obviously he has a strange impression of the little chap because a guard dog he isn't.

Sunday morning we met up with friends and the Lords for a dog walking session, five dogs and eight adults, oh yeah and a couple of horses but thats another story.  As I was getting Stitch out of the car as he had travelled with us I was abruptly interrupted by a black Lab barging through from the drivers side of our car into the back, quite shocking when your not used to big dogs, but she was fine and removed her fat arse from our car.  We then all set off along the beach road, Alfie the cross pointer lead the way followed by Barney, Daisy, Poppy and Stitch, we had a good walk on a cold day along the shoreline, well until the horse incident which involved poor Alfie chasing a racing horse and its owner who had deliberately set off around Alfie threatening to kill the dog, wow not a nice gentleman, Alfie had taken no notice of the horse they had been training in the ring in fact he didn't go close at all, his hunting instinct only kicked in when the other horse took off and he felt the need to chase it.

We decided that we would call the little fellow Stitch, Garry has decided he now has a handbag dog, but he would need a good strong name, Butch didn't do it for me, and Zed didn't do it for Garry so we agreed on Stitch, I think it's a great name for the little prancing prince, we left Stitch with the Dark Lord as we had a pre-arranged appointment and then after that we went to Jumbo for doggie supplies, a bed, food bowls, retractable lead and toys were all purchased, My Beloved said this is the second free animal he has had that cost him a fortune, I ignored him.

We picked Stitch up late afternoon and headed home to introduce him to his new pad, we took him for a second walk, then Garry was on pee patrol as Stitch introduced himself to his surroundings, three times he tried to spray and once he managed. We took him out for a late night walk before bed and have discovered that we have a hound that is scared of the dark, frightened of his own shadow and anyone else's too.  We all had a great nights sleep with no problems and considering Stitch was used to sleeping with Alfie he was very well behaved.

Monday and we got up and took Stitch for a walk, after feeding him I called the vet to get him booked in for the snip, had I not fed him we could have taken him in straightaway but now we would have to wait till Tuesday at 9am. We have discovered Stitch doesn't know how to walk on a lead, we tried the retractable and he is much better on that but still has moments when he sits his backside down and the only way to move him is if you slide him along, once you let the lead go slack he will start walking but it can be a little tricky. 

We knew we had a lot of dogs around our area, but it's only when you start walking with another dog you realise how many there are, and all outside dogs too, they just stay in their gardens all day long and bark at anything that move, there is a particular German Shepherd around the roads that had me sitting on Garry's shoulder as I thought he was coming over the fence, there are also a group of hunting dogs about 400 yards from the house who are kennelled when not hunting and bark at anything and everything that goes past them, luckily 400 yards is far enough for them not to be annoying, but poor Stitch does not like walking past them.

We put Stitch to bed and this time he had a little moan about being left, we ignored him and once again we all slept well. Stitch and I went for a walk along the beach in Limassol, this is when I discovered not only does he not like the dark, he doesn't like traffic much either, he is very, very skittish with the noise, and the workmen throwing building rubble down a builders shoot nearly made him take off across the sea to Israel. I took Stitch to Starbucks for a cappuccino before his vet appointment, obviously I drank and he cowered on the chair with the traffic passing by, I feel a desensitisation programme coming on. 

9am and we arrived at the vets, how can you be scared of the dark, noisy traffic and yet a thermometer up your bum doesn't phase you, I have no idea. I left him and was told to collect him at 4pm, when I went back Stitches cage was covered, and whilst I was paying I was told he was a naughty boy for barking all the time, I looked at the crazy woman and said 'Oh dear', silly cooo I would bark too in a strange place, with crazy strange dogs, one of which was a French Bulldog who needing his lips lifting with chewing gum just to make him smile, we have to go back on Friday for a check up.

All the way home Stitch lay in the back of the car with his head under the blanket, no sooner had we arrived when My Beloved called for his taxi so we turned around to pick him up, when we eventually arrived back home poor Stitch was like a drunk man, and hardly spoke to us all night, we weren't able to feed him until the morning and I really did feel sorry for him he must have been starving.

Meet Stitch